Study the Thirteen Attributes of Mercy

“Cordovero begins his spiritual guidebook by showing us that we can imitate Keter (Crown) by acquiring “the thirteen highest attributes of mercy.” Just as God exhibits these qualities in dealing with us, he says, so we must exhibit these qualities in dealing with our neighbors. The thirteen attributes of mercy are:

Patiently bear insult and be good to those who insult you.
Patiently endure evils performed by your neighbor.
Pardon sin and wash its stain away.
Regard yourself and your neighbor as one. Always wish your neighbor well. Never say anything negative about him and never desire to see him suffer or be disgraced. Rejoice in your neighbor’s good fortune and be grieved at his misfortunes as if they were your own.
Do not stay angry with others, even when they persist in sinning. “It is a religious duty,” says Cordovero, “to encourage [your neighbor] lovingly, and perhaps this way of dealing with him will succeed.” On a parallel track, the author of Proverbs said, “A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger.”[320] And a Taoist sage advised, “If you do not contend with anyone, no one can contend with you.”
Show mercy to those who offend or provoke you by recalling their good qualities.
Do not harbor resentment against anyone who offends you. If your neighbor repents of a misdeed, “show him a greater degree of kindness and love than formerly.”
Always remember the good your neighbor has done and forget the evil he has done.
Do not hate or judge those who suffer. Welcome those who suffer and are punished, and save them from their enemies. Do not say of one who is suffering, “His sufferings are the result of his sins,” but have compassion upon him.
Be truthful and upright.
Go beyond the letter of the law when dealing with the good and saintly. We should choose as our friends those who are good, and we should be extremely compassionate and patient with them.
Do not behave cruelly towards the wicked or insult them, but have mercy upon them and try to help them improve.
Recall the good deeds others have done from the day of their birth. When someone is unworthy, remember that there was a time—even if it was in his infancy—when he did not sin. If we get into the habit of thinking like this, says Cordovero, everyone will be found worthy of our prayers and mercy.”

A Two-Step Process of Resolution: Mercy and Justice

“If I were to encapsulate in one word the thread that runs through Cordovero’s thirteen attributes of mercy, I would say it is forgiveness. Yet how hard it is for us to forgive those who have inflicted deep pain or committed ultimate crimes against the soul, the mind, the body.”

“Some people think of forgiveness as an act of surrender to the enemy. But, in fact, not to forgive is the real act of surrender to the enemy. By refusing to forgive someone, we literally surrender a part of ourselves to him—we tie ourselves to that person until we ultimately do forgive him. That is one very important reason why when Peter asked Jesus, “How often shall my brother sin against me and I forgive him? As many as seven times?” Jesus replied, “I do not say to you seven times, but seventy times seven.” Many people go to their graves refusing to make peace with their enemies. This is a tragic mistake, for they will carry their resentment into their next life—and their next and their next—until they finally decide to let go of it. Lifetime after lifetime, they can choose to perpetuate an ages-old feud or one day they can say, “Enough is enough. I will forgive and forget and I will rest my case in the LORD.”

“The soul of the one who has wronged you may be imperfect, but that soul still has the potential to one day return to a state of perfection. Therefore, no matter how bad a person’s deeds are, you can always forgive the soul. With this done, you can take step two: Ask the Lord to send his archangels to bind and judge the not-self of the evildoer. The not-self is akin to the evil urge (see chapter 6). It is the force of evil that impels the soul to disobey the commandments of God. It is the portion of a person’s being that is not of God, that is evil, and therefore can be judged. Once the not-self is bound, the soul has a better chance of transforming herself. You can ask God to give the soul of the evildoer the opportunity to repent of her evil deeds and strengthen herself under the shadow of the Almighty so she can resist the evil urge when it knocks again at her door. Ask the Lord to exorcise the discarnate entities and demons that have infested the soul and to free the evildoer from the negative patterns of his psychology that induce him to sin.”

“There is one thing, however, that we cannot do: we cannot interfere with anyone’s free will. If the soul is still determined to commit crimes against herself and humanity, then the mercy she has withheld from others shall be withheld from her. El Morya’s two-step process of resolution is both liberating and empowering because it frees us to forgive the soul, even as it empowers us to wage war against the forces of evil that hold that soul in their grip. It activates the mercy of Hesed and the justice of Gevurah through the compassion of Tiferet. And when your spiritual work is done, you can be certain that, in God’s own time and way, the soul will be assisted and given new opportunity, and justice will be meted out.”